Fear and Loathing in Northern Virginia

I don't get it.
Really, I don't.
I've lived here for longer than any other place I have ever lived for my entire life, and I still don't get NorVa.
Maybe it's my Long Island birth, or my Midwest upbringing. Possibly it's my lack of hometown, giving me a jaundiced eye on a place that seems to harbor an unusually (to me) high number of generational residents. Ah, let's not forget the untoward aversion to McMansions.
Or maybe it's the question.
The one that I've been bombarded with from the first time I had a conversation that went farther than 'how are you-fine-have a nice day'.

"So, what do you do?"

Now, you have to see this from where I was coming from at the time. We moved here right after 'Navy Days', ten years of ships, boats, and dockyards. Men were sailors, women (except for the odd clerk) were moms. That's just how we rolled. So the question of careers leaned more towards the ascent through the ranks for the husband, and had nothing to do with mothers leaving home to have a career. Oh, there were women who worked, but mostly that was just to make ends meet, and mostly involved the Commissary or the Exchange. Career? Hah, try moving to a different state every eighteen months and see how that works for you.
So when I was questioned about my occupation, I answered the same way I do on my taxes. Homemaker, or some variation on it, not thinking about the social suicide I just brought down on my head. The immediate dismissal that I invariably received startled me. I had people turn their backs on me, walk away, or turn to the person next to me and start a conversation in the middle of my response.

Whoa.
Hello.
Welcome to NorVa.

I don't care what you do. I'm not impressed. I couldn't give a flying flaming rats rear about your earning potential, college degree, or security clearance.What I do care about is 'Who are you?' How do you live your life? Are you a racist, atheist, sadist, devout Hindu? Do you hide your dreams, or share them with your cat? What is your favorite book and why? Is that your natural hair color? Did you ever have an abortion? Do you remember your dreams? How do you feel about pudding?

I would not do it differently if given a choice. I'm not sappy or sentimental for the most part about my kids. I'm too much of a realist for much romanticizing.It's not all about 'the children, think of the children'. I knew before my first was born that someone would have to raise her, and considering that I made her, I wanted it to be me. I give it my all, even though the kids would rather be given less time and more money with the age they are at now.
So I've come up with a coping mechanism. Every time someone asks me nowadays 'so, what do you do?', I turn around and walk away. I'm a big one for preventative maintenance.

I still don't get this place, though.